What do you think so far?

You haven't put in any quotation marks, so how are we meant to know when their is dialogue and who is even speaking? Next, a few swear words are okay, but in my opinion there are far too many in this. Don't go over the top, otherwise the swear words lose all meaning; they don't display any emotion. Apart from that, it is good. Your description and sentence flow is good, but it's just the language and dialogue which let you down.